Archive for June, 2002
Alone
Yesterday I got free tickets from a friend for the Giants game: 3rd row on the left field line. Amazing seats. Yet, I couldn’t get anyone to go with me. I called everyone I knew, and even the unemployed people made up wacky excuses. So, I said “Screw it” and went to the park. I walked around outside for 35 minutes, asking random girls to go to the game with me (wreckless abandon + wacky mood). I even chased down a jogger. No dice. My confidence is at a new low as I take a seat on a bench facing McCovey cove. I glance over at the grandfatherly gentleman sitting next to me reading his paper. I say, “Hey, sir. You got time to watch a baseball game today?” He replies “Sure!” and I hand him the ticket, free of charge. He thanks me and I get up and head in, shouting back “I’ll see you inside in a little while!” and he smiles and waves. I watched the whole game alone; old guy never showed up. I hate this town.
Lost youth
I keep thinking of one thing as I walk to the Muni station at the end of the work day. There’s an old woman, dirty, downtrodden, and probably a bit disturbed who sits on my block each day during rush hour, hoping for handouts. There are many like her around. And I can’t help but realize that at some point in their lives they were children. The probably played in sprinklers, rode bicycles, and played house. Now all of that is just gone.
It’s a dream
Stupid brain! I have a habit of sitting outside and reading before bed, but I often do it until I’m really sleepy. Now, my subconscious has decided it would be funny to screw with me. With great regularity in the last couple of weeks, I’ve started dreaming that I’m outside reading and dozing off. So I think, “Gee, better not fall asleep outside.” and shake myself awake and close the book, only to find myself standing beside my bed. Stupid brain!
Happy night
My friends are the people with whom I forget. I forget to think, to worry, to obsess. Saturday night I was out with Tim and forgot. And I was happy, actually happy, for the first time in as long as I can remember.