I live in a big city, and I have American values, not these illusory and somehow superior small town values. Hell, I grew up in a small city, so I guess I’m some sort of mutt; do I still count? Who am I?

I am America. I pay my taxes. I believe in equality for all. I hope for peace. I work hard doing a white-collar job at a company that produces a product that the world buys. I have my hard earned money in the flailing stock market. I love my family with my whole heart. I voice both my agreement and my dissent. I would take up arms and fight to the death to defend our freedom. I lend a helping hand. I cram my brain with knowledge and then share it. I give blood. I install CFLs and recycle. I check on my friend’s cats when she’s away. I practice critical thinking. I vote.

I am America so please, please stop implying that the cleanliness of my fingernails, my geographic location, or how I conscientiously cast my vote makes me anything else.

Now, to wind down: I am drinking a beer!